"You're cool" is not an answer.

So earlier this week I sent out ten emails to ten lovely woman. Faced with the sad return rate of 1-3%. I was still optimistic in my ninja skills as a wordsmith though, so I patiently waited. 24 hours later, no response. 48 hours, no response. 72 hours, 3 responses. Wow! 3 replies. Yep, 3 replies from real woman and they were all from the women I wrote. I got the messages at work but couldn't read them until I could log in from home. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Sure, there were only three presents under the tree but they were perfectly wrapped and three presents is still better than none. I logged in and opened my presents. Did I get my Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle? Nope, I got socks.

Yeah! Socks!

The first email present I opened consisted of one word..."Hi" The second was a little better. "Thanks for writing." The third one gave me hope. "Greetings and salutations, what brings you online?" Holy crap, this is something I can actually work with, a greeting and an actual question I can answer. Maybe this pair of socks isn't so bad, I needed a new pair anyway.

When I sent my initial emails I ended them with a single question. I figured a witty or interesting question would give someone reason to respond. Notice how two of the replies didn't even bother to answer my initial question and the third answered my question with a question. You might be asking what questions would warrant such a dismal response? I can't tell you that but they were somewhere along the lines of "What do you think an Oompa Loompa smells like?"

They do not smell like cotton candy

I ignored the first two emails but answered the third. I wrote a brief but engaging paragraph describing what brought me to online dating and followed up with a similar question of my own. A few hours my response came back. "You're cool!" First of all, I am cool but not fonzie cool, just kinda cool and second, What?!? Did I not just answer your initial question and ask you a similar question in return? Your supposed to answer my question and perhaps ask a new question in return. This is called a "conversation." It happens when two people do something called "communicate."

I was starting to get a little frustrated and replied back with a "Thanks" and followed up with the same question I had initially asked and a brand new question. That's two questions for her to answer. Anyone can answer one question but two questions might be pushing the boundaries of an online conversation, especially two questions in a single email.

I checked my email before I went to bed that night and saw that she replied. Would she answer at least one of my questions or would she have the intellectual capacity to answer both of them in a single email? Wanna see her entire reply? Here it is:

:-)

Yep, it's an emoticon.

:-)